My “favorite” part of the story, as reported by Brandweek, is a quote from Scott Frotman, spokesman for the United Food and Commercial Workers Union, whose group is protesting outside Whole Foods stores in Ohio:

“Whole Foods has attempted to wrap itself in a progressive image, but when you peel back the layers you see that it is run by an executive who repeatedly pushes extreme positions.”

Yeah, what an extremist whacko Mr. Mackey is for claiming that health care is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution (sarcasm intended).

The past few weeks have been all sorts of fun for Whole Foods, which has since issued a letter of apology to its cusotmers and done some serious backtracking to separate the opinions of its CEO from its own corporate opinion on the issue (although I’d be surprised if the two were not one and the same), and established a message board on its Website to allow its customers to discuss the issue.

This episode ranks up there with the backlash that hit the Dixie Chicks after band member Natalie Maines made remarks critical of President George W. Bush.

The bottom line is that there truly is no such thing as “free” speech anymore.

For 20 years clients have asked me how we measure the success of a public relations campaign. And for 20 years, I’ve provided answers that includes pre- and post-campaign consumer opinion research, advertising equivalency, gross impressions, etc.

But I’ve never really “known” for sure. It’s incredibly difficult (if not impossible) to connect the dots between sustained positive publicity and sales and customer loyalty.

Close, but no Grail.

And the social media revolution has only clouded the picture, as now marketers are expected to connect a wider array of dots to demonstrate that a post on a well-read Mommy blog somehow generated greater impact on your bottom line than a 90-second feature on your local television news station. (In reality, it would be great if you got both “hits.”)

The traditional clipping service has been replaced by all manner of technology companies, who promise to fire up their Web engines and show you who’s saying what about your products and services, which bloggers, tweeters and news sites wield the greatest influence, and how all of this Internet chatter is woven together.

One of my favorite terms to come out of this revolution is “share of influence,” which is about as Emperor’s New Clothes as it gets.

As Asi Sharabi recently pointed out in his No Man’s Blog, you can spend a lot of time separating the wheat from the chaff and still not know much more about your brand’s standing in the public consciousness than you would by Googling yourself.

From what I’ve seen, he’s right. Most of the companies cites (no need for me to name names) offer up a garbage in-garbage out accounting of who-said-what-to-whom.

One exception, in my opinion, is an Overland Park, Kan.-based group called Spiral 16.

I’ve been using their Spark software off and on for the past six months, and I’ve found it useful in helping me work more efficiently for my clients by sniffing out opportunities and threats that we otherwise wouldn’t know about and then prioritizing our activities using this knowledge.

It helps prevent us from falling into the “mistaking activity with achievement” trap that befalls so many in the public relations profession. We are no longer forced to do the “dump and chase” routine of issuing news releases and then making a million follow-up calls—we can actually engage our customers, prospects and influencers where they live and via the information they consume.

The truth is, we cannot accurately measure social media yet. But we can use these monitoring devices to keep our fees down and generate greater bang for the buck.

Something that all clients can (and do) appreciate these days.

Not the Holy Grail….but not bad.

Essentially, what I’ve always believed about the “small town” approach to marketing is now being embraced as the new gospel of marketing.

It seems that listening, doing what you’re say you’re going to do and responding to the needs of the market are now “the next big thing.”

Funny, I didn’t realize that any of those traits had ever gone out of style.

Have we as marketers been that callous, or has all of our mass market bullshit finally caught up with us once and for all?

In his post yesterday, he correctly points out that The New York Times and other mainstream media (MSM) still matter because “everyone reads it.”

And even though Comedy Central and the social media disciples bag on The Times as purveyors of “aged news,” the fact is that daily national newspapers such as The Times, USA Today and the Wall Street Journal still attract millions of eyeballs each every morning, and provide a common reference point for society at large.

Completely ignoring the MSM is akin to Dirty Harry leaving that last (and possibly most important) bullet in the chamber.

Sure, you’ve got to have a great Website and you’ve got to interact with prospects and customers online, but when it comes to getting folks into the sales funnel in the first place, it’s still a numbers game and no one delivers the numbers like the MSM.

As the parent of a 2-1/2-year-old, I’m doing my best to reinforce the please-and-thank-you routine, and I’m pleased to report that Elie is showing progress in the basics of etiquette.

But this morning, I found myself caught in traffic and learned that many grown-ups have forgotten the things that they learned in kindergarten, and it bothers me.

It’s real simple:

When you’re in a lane of traffic that is being merged into another lane of traffic and you want to get in line ahead of another car, make eye contact with the operator of said vehicle, point to the spot where you want to go and await their acknowledgement.

It’s then appropriate to mouth the word “thank you” before you move your vehicle into position. A “thank you” wave in the review mirrior is also a nice gesture after you’ve completed the maneuver.

On the flip side, if you see that another car is trying to merge into your line of traffic, my personal rule of thumb is to allow one car to merge, allowing for a smoother flow of traffic and also because it’s the nice thing to do. Once you’ve allowed one car into your lane, you have fulfilled your karmic duty for the day.

This is pretty simple stuff, people. And this used to be such a friendly country.

Why does no one even wave anymore?

WTF happened?

And while I’m at it, when did “Uh-huh” become the proper response to “Thank you”?

But in the age of messge boards, blogs and Twitter, your detractors can post pretty much anything they want, ANONYMOUSLY and then disappear in the night faster than the Varmint Cong.

Whack A Molemore flash games..

Recently, we’ve begun incorporating a new technology to help us help our clients not only find out who’s saying what about them, but also to separate the lovers from the haters and prioritize our actions by engaging online commentators holding the greatest influence first.

It’s proved to be a tremendous listening tool, and eliminates the old PR trap of mistaking activity for achievement.

Unfortunately, all anybody seems to want to do these days is talk.

On Twitter, on Facebook, on blogs, all anyone wants to do is talk-talk-talk-talk-talk.

It’s as though the social media revolution has turned the world into a murder of yammering magpies.

Listen up, Heckle and Jeckle! Just because you got out of bed this morning does not mean the rest of the world needs to receive a tweet about it.

Maybe you should be using social networks as a listening tool, so that you can better understand how your customers are responding to trends and how they perceive your brand in the marketplace. Then, you can respond in a manner that demonstrates your interest in serving the needs of customers.

Face it. Listening takes time. Listening takes effort. And as the parent of a two-and-a-half-year-old, listening can be a full-time occupation and a huge pain in the ass. Listening is about love because in order to listen you have to care truly and deeply about what the other person is saying.

And if you don’t listen, your talking is nothing but a bunch of noise. (If you don’t believe me, crash a wedding this weekend so you can brush up on I Corinthians 13).

So the next time someone approaches you and tells you how well they are going to talk on your behalf. Stop them and ask how well they plan on listening for you.

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. And the questions aren’t new.

More than 100 years ago, Philadelphia retailer John Wannamaker was quoted as saying, “half of my advertising is wasted…the trouble is, I don’t know which half.”

Most marketers still wrestle with this problem, which is why you see so many turning to search engine optimization and pay-per-click programs over traditional broadcast and print advertising. They may not be any more effective in the long run, but at least the advertiser has something to measure.

What about public relations managers, who struggle not only with the age-old question of connecting the dots between publicity and sales, but also with the shrinking (disappearing?) news hole and how to place a value on social media strategies.

Wouldn’t it be great if your marketing plan were made of Kevlar and coated in Teflon?

The truth order to survive these tough times, your marketing plan needs to be like The Terminator….an ultra-high-tech endoskeleton covered in living tissue.

Technology plus humanity = bulletproof.

Software developers have created algorhythms that can pinpoint Web chatter down and tell you who is saying what about your products and services, and to whom. They can analyze your sales data and tell you who your best customers are and demonstrate how to better focus your sales force to maximize profits while eliminating wasted energy chasing “bad” customers and prospects.

In the hands of a marketing, sales and service team willing to be genuine, transparent, caring and responsive, these programs not only generate greater revenues and profits, but also engender long-term customer loyalty and value.

And they’re bulletproof.

In less than 10 minutes, a Tweetdeck search for “US Airways” has turned up nearly 1,200 different tweets related to the incident, meaning that reports—both accurate and inaccurate—are making their way around the globe.

Let’s all pray for the souls on board.

And for the good folks at US Airways who need to activate the crisis page on their Website NOW.